![]() THIS IS NOT THEIR FAULT BECAUSE IT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM MANY TIMES AND THEY DESERVE A SHOT AT LOVE TOO. Men ARE predatory, they are taught to be predatory, and some women, typically due to childhood trauma, experience a LOT of abuse and rape at the hands of men. You will need to be very clear about your boundaries throughout the relationship. You don't need to say why, but need to be very clear about your boundaries, as you are well aware that without doing that there are many men who will try to do whatever they want to you. You will have to ask the person to please take it slow. Still, you the next time you have sex after you are raped the last time will be difficult. The best thing for you, as a person who has attracted predators for twenty years, is to know someone first, be friends first, and trust them. Once you are feeling better and you date, you will have to be very careful. Once you know this, you can get therapy, learn to identify the red flags, learn to trust your gut, and try to recognize it has never been your fault and get some self-esteem. They will come across as kind, loving, supportive and feminist, in the mirroring stage. Many predators are high-level predators and you have no idea when you first meet them that you are dealing with someone with a personality disorder. It ABSOLUTELY SUCKS to attract predators. These are the men who hear dinner bells when you open up about your history, who realize they have found a good victim, whereas you think you have found someone loving and supportive. These are also the men who rape you after the breakup, wanting to "see you to talk things out," when you still have feelings for them. ![]() How can someone you slept with the night before rape you? These are the men who slam you into a wall and anally rape you, and since you are used to abuse, you don't realize what is happening. You don't realize you can be raped in a relationship. When you are a teenager you don't understand that a lot of men are predatory, and that predators will try to groom you. Sometimes this abuse is just sexual, sometimes it's physical, emotional and sexual. They pretend to love you, then begin to abuse you. They are the abusers and the narcissists. However, the ones who REALLY hurt you are the sharks in fish clothing. This sucks and generally happens to you in your teens and twenties. Another total stranger has targeted you while you were minding your own goddamn business. Molest you at work, on the subway, wherever. These are the guys who grab your tits, grab your ass, follow you home, back you into a corner at a club and thrust their hands up your skirt and fingers inside you. They don't pretend to be anything other than sharks. Some of these sharks are sharks that bite and run. Imagine that in a sea there are plenty of fish, but also a lot of sharks. Being raped once puts you at a MUCH higher risk of revictimization, as does child sexual abuse. Many victims have been multiply attacked. Get a lawyer am responding to all the ignoramuses on here "answering" this question.įirst of all, multiple rapes are EXTREMELY COMMON. Don't write, speak, and/or whatever to her again. But, from what I see, people who come out of either get the help they need and move on to having families of their own and healthy marriages/lives.other do not.they have psychological problems, may even turn into abusers themselves.Īgain, I'd stay away from this woman. I was emotionally and physically abused as a child, so I don't believe I could ever understand what someone - especially as a child - would be twisted after being molested, raped, sexually abused. I mean, I was never sexually abused and/or raped. I saw her as a manipulator who didn't get over her past. He said she was "sick" and he felt sorry for her. She'd say she has an infection, which would make sex painful, yet she refused to go to the doctor to have it looked at/treated. Well, all she did was use him as a punching bag for all the men that did her wrong, the sex and affection stopped to. He was a nice guy and I guess he thought he could "rescue" her. He spent over a decade married to her and tried to "heal" her. My FWB married a woman who had a drunk dad and was abused as a child. ![]() In the future, please, do not get with someone who has had such a history. I mean, from what you described it was as if she was reenacting what happened to her (the rapes, molestations) or she's so damaged that she cannot enjoy sex again (emotionally and/or physically). to deal with this history and become a healthy person. If whatever happened to her is true, she needs to get treatment, counseling, etc. Lightning doesn't strike multiple times in the same area w/o something else going on.Įven "if" this is not a scam, something's wrong with her. I don't see how the OP didn't see as a red flag her history.
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